Spoke Too Soon....

Well, I guess I spoke too soon in my last post. Jess hasn't contacted me for 2 days....She is at a conference for work and told me that she had sucky cell service in her room. Well she was able to call me on Weds. night, but the call was dropped in the middle of our conversation. I tried to call her back and only got voice mail. I haven't heard back from her since...no calls, no texts, no emails...nothing! I spoke with one of her co-workers who is also one of her safety people in regards to her suicide attempt back in January. The co-worker told me that Jess has been in touch with her and with work and that she sounded in good spirits and that sh was doing fine.

Now, if she can contact her co-worker, why can't she contact me...it makes me feel like I did something wrong, especially when I felt like she was so detached when she was at my place last weekend. Makes me wonder what's up! You can't tell me she couldn't step outside the hotel where she obviously had service to make a quick call to me or send me a text. She could have been dead for all I know!

I have been debating all day on whether or not to go down there. There are definitely pros and cons...for one...it ends up being a 5 hour drive to her place one way when I have to drop my kids with their dad. I would have to make that trip twice, once tonight and then again on Sunday when I pick the kids up. She hasn't been home since last Weds. so I know she has a lot of chores and errands to do over the weekend. If I am there, they won't get done, or I will end up helping with them and I could do THAT at home. Also, I'm not feeling the best. I have been fighting a cold or something for the last few days and feel like complete shit!  Still, I love her and want to spend time with her. I miss her and want to see her...like I said...pros and cons...

And now this....Makes me not want to call her or talk to her for a few days so she can see how it feels....Gawd I get so pissed! This isn't fair..I didn't do a damn thing to deserve this! I'm sure she will come back with an excuse...I was just so busy ....or I  HAD to call "co-worker" it was for work in regards to the conference!

Damn~why is it just when I think things are calming down, something always has to happen!!